We have been told that our kids look alike so I thought I would post thier new born pictures and see if you can tell who is who. I had this up one other time but when I had problems with my comments I lost this post. They are black and white cause it would be a lot easier if they were color. Morgen's will probably be the easiest since she is the newest.

Why does time fly so quickly?

It doesn't seem like it has been almost 2 weeks since I posted last. I did get my entire house cleaned and have actually been able to keep it up. I also made a menu for two weeks of meals and made my shopping list off of it. In case your wondering why I'm saying this it is because I never do this. I just go shopping and get what I think I might need and then hope I can make something out of it. and then I get mad because I don't know what to fix for super and I fret about it all day till I think I'll go mad. So now I wake up and know what I am fixing that day and also know that I have all the ingredients. I have not always been this disorganized, but ever since I started having children I guess I thought I did not have time for lists and such. Now I am kicking myself for not doing it sooner. By all means though this is not a habit yet, it seems to take me for ever to do something on a regular basis till it becomes habit. Usually I Only get to the one month mark and quit cause I think it's to hard. I know it's lousy. You can pray for me in this area cause I know my husband is to. I
think he enjoys actually getting a good meal at nite and not something I threw together with the ingredients I had on hand. Doing all this has also helped my mood as well. I think I'm going through some postpartum depression. Cause I just don't feel like my self lately. In fact I haven't for the past 4 or five years. After my mom was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in Jan of o4,getting pregnant in Dec of 04 , losing her in february of 05 and two more babies since then I guess maby I am felling a little over whelmed.I hardly get adjusted to my new baby and then I'm pregnant and sick again and don't feel like doing anything.And no I am not trying to tell you that I am pregnant again, God forbid! Some times I wonder if I haven't had the baby blues for about 3 and 1/2 yrs solid. This time seems a little worse cause I am questioning my salvation and not wanting to have a relationship with Christ anymore and feel so completely alone right now.This really bothers me cause even when I have had depression before I have never felt this way about my spiritual life. Has anyone ever felt this after a pregnancy? I feel so stupid . It's like my mind is telling me that I'm not saved but, my heart screams at me at the same time saying it is not so. Arg it is so confusing at the time. I know I should listen to what my heart tells me but my mind seems to overwhelm me.It feels like a battle.I have always been told that it was a constant battle but I guess I have never felt it so real before. But then again I don't think I have ever been this tired before either, and I can not cope with things at all when I am tired. Cameron and I are wanting to join at grace but I have been holding back because of how I am feeling right now. Please pray that the Lord will clear my mind so that I can take this step forward with my husband. It has been the desire of our hearts to join but first we wanted to make sure we were going to be staying here and now I feel like such a failure spiritually that I don't know if I can go through that process from my heart. I don't want to give answers that are what I know Danny will want to hear when we become members, I want them to come from what I know to be truth in my heart. I am tired of acting like what I know I am supposed to. But if I act like what I feel now I don't think anyone would want me around! Well now that you know what I really am like right now:{ Sorry. I just needed to write this out cause it makes me feel better. Besides I think my struggle must be written on my face or something cause I have had several people come up and ask me how I'm REALLY doing, cause they said I looked frazzled. And I definatly do.

I think I got this comment thing fixed

Well if any of you tried to post a comment you would know that it was screwed up. I am happy to announce that I got it fixed at least for now. I heard this song the other day by Ray Stevens. I thought it was so funny so I decided to share it with you.

When we were having our first baby

The wife said to me maby we should have this baby

The natural way

With out drugs or medication but in peaceful meditation

We'll start this child out on its merry way

So we enrolled into a school and learned to breathe both

Out and in then proudly told our family and our friends

We're having a baby the natural way

We're having a baby we're happy to say

this child will enter into life in sweet tranquillity

the way the old folks did it all down through history

Queens and peasants have both done it so just how hard can it be?

We're having a baby the natural way

our reluctant obstetrician made just one one condition

We could have the child naturally but in a delivery room.

So we kept breathing and rehearsing till the day came for the birthing

Then my wife said sweetly to me" lets go dear the baby's' coming soon

So I grabbed our bags and got her there and got her all checked in

But neither one of us was ready for all that happened when

She started having that baby the natural way

She started hiving that baby and I'm sorry to say

Well there was yelling screaming bleeding

And the cursing of my name,

we forgot how to breathe when the labor really came

Then she yelled Nobody told me that there would be this much pain

I'm not having this baby the natural way.

Then I said Now now honey pant and puff

She said Shut your mouth I've had enough

then from the pit of hell there came a primal scream

She grabbed me in a tight choke hold grabbed the doctor by the stethoscope

then a voice from the exorcist said GIVE ME MORPHINE

They gave her a shot she relaxed her grip and I passed out on the floor

The baby came she did just fine in fact we've had two more

But we didn't have those babies the natural way

We had those babies I'm happy to say

In an air conditioned hospital with every modern aid

With syringes full of the very best pain killers ever made

You can bet your life theres one thing that you'll never hear us say

We're having a baby the natural way

You know it just ain't natural having a baby the natural way

Hey doc could we get a little more pain killer over here

Thank you! I think my wife could use a little to.

We're not having a baby the natural way.

I have had a good laugh more than once over this song. Sorry if you think I'm weird but if I don't have a laugh every once in while I'll lose my mind. It just reminded me of how our expectations of our first birth will be are so far removed from reality. I assure you that mine were brought back with shock by about the third contraction on the sixth of September of 2005.

Anyway I got 600 bean bags finished up on Monday that I started last Wednesday. It felt nice to actually finish some thing that I started I am very blessed with another very contented baby.The other two seem to be the ones who take the most time.Between feeding, correcting, wiping bottoms, changing diapers and baths there is hardly time for fixing meals, doing laundry, and keeping the house picked up. I have not even tried to clean the house for about 2 months now, maby I will get to that next week. Well I am tiered so I'd better go.